( The Shri Rama Sene had previously changed it’s name to Shriram Nene, but have since reverted to their original name after nobody else except Pramod Mutalik and a certain idiot named Hari Shenoy found it funny. More so, they were not able to pinpoint Madhuri Dixit-Nene’s whereabouts.

The idiotic Hari Shenoy did suggest that they use the name, ‘the organization formerly known as Shriram Nene’, but the groups’s lawyers objected strongly, saying that they didn’t want Prince / TAFKAP / The artist formerly known as Prince suing the group.

Pramod Mutalik, a fervent hater of Pax Karnataka (inspired by Pax Romana) is also said to be fond of the song ‘When Doves Cry’, which he says gives him inspiration to wreak havoc among peace-loving citizens of Karnataka. )

The Shri Ravan Sene, when asked about it’s unusual name said that if towns like Mysore and Jalandhar could be named after demons, they saw no harm in naming their organization after a demon as well.

“Ten heads are better than two heads, which in turn are better than one!”, said their chairman, during the introductory speech to the media. He had shown up for the introductory press conference with nine other plastic heads attached to his own head, and had each of them masked, with ten mics placed in front of him.

“I am masked to prevent you guys from identifying me if I were to ever appear in public”, said their chairman, not realizing that the sight of a ten-headed man was as common as that of Karan Johar being flanked by skimpily clad women at the red carpet of a film premiere.

The media, stupid as it is, being unable to tell the difference between a hijacking and an emergency landing, was under the impression that this guy actually had ten heads, and as usual lost the entire point of the press conference.

They were last seen putting out ‘breaking news’ that read – ‘Indian Medical Association reveals Ten Headed Man!’, and ‘Ravana seeks asylum in light of ongoing crisis in Sri Lanka!’ and some such nonsense, having redefined the whole concept of the Chinese whisper beyond epic proportions.

Barkha Dutt was……. Do you think I’m a fool to mention her on my blog and get sued as well? Gah!

When asked what their mission was, their ten-headed chairman said, “We’re here to do the exact opposite of what the Shri Ram Sene is doing. We plan to kidnap all the girls that sit at home, and push them into pubs, which are losing crores of rupees because the women that previously went into pubs are now sitting at home.”

On being told about the agenda of the Shri Ravana Sene, a certain liquor baron had tears of joy in his eyes was seen adding a photo of Ravana next to the photo of Kevin Pieterson in his prayer room. (As an aside, in place of Rahul Dravid’s photo, there stood a mere wall.)

The ten-headed anonymous chairman then unfurled the flag of the Shri Ravana Sene for all the media to see. The flag was white in colour and on it was the head of our beloved Minister of State for Women and Child Development, with a thought bubble that said ‘Pub Bharo!’.

“We’re going to change our flag as and when the occasion demands it, and also change the slogan that our principal mascot says on similar lines. This is to ensure that we’re keeping in line with the requirements of modularity and abstraction that web 2.0 standards dictate”, he said, sending the policemen in a tizzy.

Now the cops’ job of tracking the President was made that much tougher because almost every male in Bangalore between the ages of 20 and 50 was now a suspect.

“We had originally decided to join hands with the National Panthers Party, as Aadisht had specified in this post. But, unlike them, we have no political aspirations. We are, however, strongly in favour of tying up with the Kansa Society in the future, should they be willing to lend us a helping hand.”

“On Valentine’s Day, we plan to enlist the help of men who don’t have better things to do, or better people to do, or both, to try and combat the threat of the Shri Rama Sene. See you then!”

“Also, read Hari Shenoy’s blog if you can!”, he added hurriedly just before he left, showing that he had good taste in blogs, just like you do, O dear reader!

The Shri Ravana Sene plans to induct anyone willing to join its noble cause in due course of time. Laid-off tech firm employees will be given first preference. Watch this space for further updates.

In the meanwhile, do check out The Pink Chaddi campaign. Heartening indeed, to know that people are donating clothes even when our economic crisis is hitting us hard. Poor Pramod Mutalik, I’d say.

There were similar opinion polls and premature celebrations that had taken place eight years ago, when a certain Al Gore, proponent of the famous ManBearPig (half man, half bear, half pig) phenomenon, was in line for the President’s post post Clinton in 2000 AD.

Opinion polls are scary, for one never knows how wrong they can be. It is quite funny, but in the event that John McCain does end up winning, the media will have to eat its words, as will most other people who’ve been ardently supporting him and rooting for his victory.

Should Obama win, he’ll be the first EVER US President to have an Islamic middle name – ‘Hussein’, and more than anything else, it will represent America’s coming of age, despite their being so anti-Muslim post 9/11.

One thing that I find both funny and disturbing at the same time is this story, which talks of how Bangalore techies have been raising money in support of Obama. This was further corroborated by the cheap simian, who sent me a similar link, accusing me of having been part of this venture.

I find it funny because the Bangalore techies could raise only so much money for the Democratic campaign in the US elections so as to contribute towards a few pamphlets to be distributed in some mid-sized city in the US. Additionally, I find it absurd that they’re bothered about what will happen in America instead of focussing on the changes they can make in our very own country.

Stupid Bangalore techies campaigning for Obama – please to look homeward!!!

The fanfare associated with their actions is akin to most of us following EPL or Spanish league clubs, but its not like we raise money or get involved greatly with the fortunes of said clubs. (At least, most of the sensible people wouldn’t.) Sure, Western culture has invaded our shores, permeated into the very essence of our being and has been adopted by us wherever convenient. We’re also following their movies, TV serials and to some extent, their life-styles.

But, wouldn’t these techies be better off campaigning for someone who’d make a greater impact on our lives here? Or alternatively, nominate one among them who’s willing to take up the job and ‘stand for the change’ that they so jingoistically seem to be endorsing?

If they want to get to the US, there’s easier ways of doing it. They could put Bambi eyes onto their project manager and have him/her sent on a B1, L1 or a H1B visa for whatever duration they want to be there for. An Obama presidency might impact outsourcing, the very reason most techies are techies, in a negative manner, and these elevated souls seem to be oblivious of that fact as they go about in their fund-raising drive. Stupefying, it is.

All said and done, the US Presidential elections, like the Cricket and Football World Cups, the Olympics and other global spectacles comes only once in four years, and I think we should all sit in front of the TV and watch it and have fun while it lasts.

The whole world lies in wait to see what else Sarah Palin will say or do that will make McCain’s choice for his running partner seem much worse than his having finished 896th / 897th at Annapolis (conflicting reports on the actual number).

While most McCain supporters, who use ‘Obama Bin Laden’ to make fun of their candidate’s rival would think that the word I’ve made up would add to their arsenal, I would define Obaminable as being Obama-like; smart, politically savvy, aware of foreign policy and so on and so forth.

So if someone were to call you Obaminable, please consider it a compliment, unless of course they meant it as a typo with the first ‘a’ and the ‘o’ interchanged.

However, what KP said once fine evening when I had met up with him still resonates in my head – ‘when you don’t do it for the money, you tend to do your best job’, and this is probably why I consider this site as my labour of love.

Churumuri article on the excessive media hype surrounding the release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

Churumuri article on how India should follow Israel’s footsteps in its steps to counter terrorism.

Churumuri article on the 2006 FIFA world cup, when I was north of where all the action took place circa July 2006.

(As a disclaimer, the post titles are given by KP, while I supplied the content which he has, in some cases edited to make it better.)

Cut to a few years later, when TOI became synonymous with horseshit, and the irreverent thrash that was being printed on the newspaper was too much to bear, and on my insistence, we switched to The Hindu, and that is what I subscribe to, even at my place here in Bangalore.

Some feel that The Hindu is a boring newspaper, and that the paper caters only to the old-fogeys who don’t want to be ‘with it’. Its true that its an old-school newspaper in more ways than one, but its cryptic crossword and editorials are waaay more interesting compared to the junk you see in the TOI.

Now that the newspaper dilemma has been resolved by my sticking to the Hindu, there is one more problem I am facing, and this one is with respect to the TV news channels.

Times Now and Headlines Today have been banner, for all practical purposes, after they were cheap enough to leak out the Deathly Hallows ending right after the book was released.

Plus, they were stupid enough to cover what Salman Khan had for breakfast after his first full night in jail (80 grams of peanuts and 30 grams jaggery). What rubbish!! The Sanjay Dutt and Salman Khan jail trips were given so much footage, I bet they wouldn’t have even noticed it if a meteor were to hit the BSE, until a few hours after.

I am now in a dilemma as to which news channel to watch, a channel that focuses on the news, rather than on some random sensationalism to satiate the appetites of morons who don’t really care about anything beyond gossip.

This super article (on how trivialisation is the leit-motif of our Indian mainstream media) echoes my sentiments, albeit in a more articulate manner. Any suggestions for which news channel to put watch on?

Saturday, July 21, saw the entire world being engulfed by ?Pottermania? for the very last time, with the release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

Our country was not spared of this phenomenon either, with people lining up in the wee hours of the weekend morning in front of bookstores all over the country, where they had pre-ordered their copies, to pick them up and start reading them immediately.

I am a self-confessed Harry Potter fan myself, and I had pre-ordered my book from Strand Book Stall four months ago. I started following the series in 2000, slightly later than quite a few other people, but I was gripped by the attention to detail, the fast paced narrative and the magical flights of fancy that J.K. Rowling managed to lead my mind into.

Everyone who?s followed the series knew that JKR had promised to tie up all the loose ends she?d left dangling in the minds of the readers, and they awaited the book release with bated breath.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was a best seller even before it was officially released, and it still is selling like hot-cakes, with 20,000 copies being sold within the first 12 hours in Bangalore alone, according to a leading daily newspaper.

In this day and age, when book-reading had been relegated to the backseat with the advent of television, movies and the internet, Rowling has arguably made book-reading fashionable once again.

The media has also contributed to the hype, with newspapers, radio stations and TV channels providing extensive coverage in the countdown towards July 21. The release of the book was initially thwarted with some photographs of the book having been put up over the internet, though fans all over chose to wait till the hardback landed in their hands, not succumbing to temptation. Bloomsburry and Scholastic, the publishers of the books, have sought legal action against the miscreant(s) responsible for the leak.

The manner in which a few news channels (Headlines Today and Times Now being the ones that I watched) showcased the unfolding of events post the launch of the book was pathetic, to say the least. Knowing fully well that fans wanted to know which of the characters lived, and who died, and Harry?s fate at the very end, these channels chose to reveal the ending of the book, in what they referred to as ?exclusive coverage of Pottermania?.

Having switched off cellphones, and remaining obvious to media reporting until the book was done, most die-hard fans were spared of the agony of having some reporter tell them what they would?ve rather found first-hand. It would not be surprising though, if some distraught fan were to sue one of these news channels for having rained in on his/her parade.

It is one thing to report events as they happen, and resort to sensationalism on occasion as and when the news channels consider it warranted. But it is quite another altogether to play spoilsport and attempt to ruin the ending of a book series that has created history.

I wish the media would think twice before it chooses to resort to making book lovers miserable at the expense of a few extra TRPs.