After being unemployed, I am strongly contemplating getting visiting cards done, which say, “Owner, harishenoy.com” and using them as and when the occasion demands it. More often than not, it will be for a joke or a prank. 

In any case, after the initial introduction, here’s a compiled list of incredible search results that led a few hapless souls onto my site.

• manmohan singh forgets srk’s movie name
• miss inox clothes
• what is the pain on my gluteus?
• valentines day protests by ram nene
• i finished all the juice
  
• song on modesty for class assembly
• vijay mallya’s women
• fatwa on leverage
• pramod mutalik gay
• madhuri dixit photo no were clothes.com
• photos of teens showing their armpits
• my favourite ghajini

And there will be more to follow. I think I’ll make it a monthly segment from now on. There are a few posts pending here and there, and they will be up soon after I’m done doing the cover story for Rock Street Journal’s March issue. Do watch out for that. The reason that gets priority is because while the website gets me hate mail which I love reading, the magazine gives me the monies, which I love counting. Just that the counting process gets over quite early, but I’m not complaining.

And while we’re at it, check out the all new look Rock Street Journal 15th anniversary issue out in stands now. Reuben Bhattacharya, our creative head has done a stunning job to put the magazine together. The layout is to die for!

More nonsense in the days to come. Until then, in Prem Panicker style, *woof*.

• Dawood Ibrahim personal website
• jaljira airways
• long skinny dorky men
• muscle Bon Jovi
• we’re all millionaires
• Skimpy Hepburn photo
• Oscar Wilde has the right to blame us
• ek do teen dubbed in Kannada
• pig chewing Orbit gum

More to follow in the days to come.

So, on Saturday evening, I left Bangalore for Mangalore via train and returned on Monday morning. It had been almost two years since I had visited Mangalore, and that was in January 2007 for the wedding of a certain friend named Vinayak Kamath, during which time, some of us had walked like Egyptians as the photographer was busy clicking photos of the newly weds.

In the interim thereafter, there were two trips each to Bombay and Chennai, a few to Bylakuppe (as a day tripper), one to Gokarna, one trip to Seattle and I hadn’t had the time to visit Mangalore due to that. My cousin was getting married, and I thought that it was a convenient time to go put ‘O Hai’ to all my relatives.

Little did I realize what was in store for me……..

Now, I’ve suddenly noticed that my showcase is threadbare, save for the obligatory mini-idols of a few Gods, and of course, my public books.

The funda of public books is particularly interesting, and I am sure quite a few people follow it. I hate lending out books, and there are very few people I wouldn’t mind giving out my books to. I have no qualms in saying this when some people have wanted to borrow books from me, but the major look of pain which I sometimes got, which seemed akin to my having shot them in their leg with a shotgun was something I didn’t really want to put up with.

So I have, since April 2007 when I moved into this house, split my bookshelf into the public and the private. The former rests in the showcase in my hall (which also serves as my drawing room, TV room, dining room, guest bedroom and so on), and contains books that I’m ok with losing. They include all my magazines, some random books, and mostly textbooks, which give any visitor who doesn’t know me the impression that I am nerdier than I look.

So, as I was mentioning, my showcase looks quite sparse, and I wanted to put in some interesting stuff into it (that was also cheap). So, I had been to McDonalds in October, and I noticed that they’d be giving out Star Wars toys with their happy meals, and I wanted a couple. However, they were scheduled to be given three weeks later, and hence I decided to wait.

Life, the universe and everything made me forget about the Star Wars toys, and when I eventually got around to going to McDonalds, they had stocked some arbit new set of toys.

Dear Reader, if you are connected in some way to anyone who works in McDonalds, or have some sort of contact, would it be possible for you to help me scrounge some of those Star Wars toys for my showcase, please? I am willing to pay good money for them.

In return, I promise to treat you. The treat will be proportionate to the number + variety of the Star Wars toys you can help me lay my hands on!

KTHX.

On the playlist was this song titled 19-2000, by Gorrilaz, the world’s most successful virtual band, and as soon as it started playing, my face lit up and I instantly correlated it with Fifa 2002 that I used to play a long time ago.

I had blogged previously in a really random post about having been pleasantly surprised at having listened to another song that I’d heard before, but not been able to place and ID.

Getting to know songs again after a long gap is somewhat like rediscovering good friends after ages.

Gunda has had such tremendous fan following, and has had among the highest ratings [citation needed] that a Hindi movie could’ve ever had on IMDB for it incorporated all possible genres that one could think of into an intense three hour movie-thon.

Deshdrohi is the BIMARU film industry’s cinematic response of sorts to Raj T’s MNS’ anti-Bihari campaign. Now we all know that Raj Thackeray has been certified insane, and is doing this just like Paris Hilton did her multiple sexcapades and Presidential campaigns for footage from all quarters possible.

After enough visibility, Raj T plans to release an album and / or star in a few movies, but that was something his PR agent told me in strict confidence. Given the low readership of this website, I’m not really concerned about this news spreading around too much anyway.

“KRK is the new SRK“, screamed the headlines of the widely read Times of Patna. Considering the total subscribers of aforesaid esteemed newspaper are equal to the total number of google reader subscribers to this website, one can imagine how popular KRK has now become. Please note that I did not say ‘readers’, only ‘subscribers’. There is a difference.

With a star cast boasting of among others, Gracy Singh, who said this performance of hers makes her work in Lagaan look like that of Bobby Deol’s in Dostana, and Roza, who dated Saif Ali Khan for three days and landed six B and C grade movie offers in the process, as well as Hrishita Bhatt (who has added some three extra H’s and some seven T’s for numerological luck), who said in the Times of Patna that compared to KRK, SRK (with whom she’s worked in Asoka) was positively meh, this movie is also worth checking out for the eye-candy factor that it provides in addition to the strong social message which you can get when you watch the movie.

KRK has overthrown Ravi Kishan to now become the most sought after actor from the BIMARU states.

Ravi Kishan who needed a serial like Bigg Boss as well arbit ad-libbing of Kabir’s Dohas as the Bhojpuri voice of Peter Parker in Spiderman-3 to become famous all over the world has now gone on the offensive and last heard, was dubbing for all of Jean Claude Van Damme’s movies, to make JC’s famous quotes more accessible to everyone in the BIMARU region, while at the same time, increasing his market value.

In the Times of Patna, he was last quoted as saying that his drop in market value was due to the ” people going for recess” (emphasis mine) in Europe and America, and that once they all got back, he could start charging his regular rates. For the record, he was both a reader AND subscriber of the ToP.

KRK, reportedly charges a princely sum of INR 1000 per movie, and like Megamart’s offers, will do three for INR 2000, and perform his own stunts as well.

I would’ve quoted dialogues from the movie on my website, but I want all of you to go and watch the movie. I plan to convince my team at the office that this would be an ideal movie to watch during our upcoming team outing.

Being thrown out of class was something I was supremely thrilled with, because it provided me with a grown-up’s endorsement to go out, play in the school grounds, sit and watch slugs move and leave their slimy trails behind, help the aayah in school in ringing the bell, a few minutes earlier simply because I liked the sound of it. This was more enjoyable than attending class on some occasions, and the propensity towards missing out on classes only magnified further as the years progressed.

This particular train of thought veered towards what the future generations would think of us, the first generation of bloggers. I can only imagine my kid reading about my ‘Dorky Guffaw’ adventures, or about how strongly hippie I have allegedly been, and wonder whether his/her image of me many years hence will be the same as what I’ve portrayed now through my online content.

Our generation has been simultaneously privileged as well as encumbered in some ways due to the revolutionary changes having been brought upon us due to the internet. While communication channels have been made so easy, and long lost friends separated over space and time-zones can still stay in touch as if they were only in the next room, and information of all sorts is available to us within a few clicks, I am led to wonder whether we’re really better off compared to previous generations.

The internet has also brought about a significant invasion of our privacy, and a lot of time is spent on the internet instead of in getting a first life. The future generations might be even worse off than we are, or might ridicule us for our extreme involvement with the net. Nothing exemplifies it better than the constantly changing arbit facebook status messages.

For instance, my current facebook status is as follows: “Hari is astounded at how make-up can make the prettiest women look majorly scary.”

While I might think it is funny right now, or at least, somewhat vaguely relevant, this is just going to be arbit nonsense once I end up saying something else.

While those bloggers who have a defined intent which leads them to blog, and have something topical to write about will have their work appreciated over time, those who use their websites as a means of unleashing arbit (case in point being yours truly) might just as well be better off covering their tracks, lest our children get inspired to do crazy stuff and then conveniently state how their folks’ blogs provided them with the inspiration.

In any case, such an eventuality is quite a long way ahead, and we shall cross the bridge, if it shows up, when we come to it.

At the height of the virus scare, the person who was given said nickname didn’t share my enthusiasm or my sense of humour, regretfully.

The saga of giving random nicknames began in college and has continued ever since even at the office. However, there definitely have been instances where I’ve brain-farted with my nomenclature, as can be illustrated with this example.

In college, there was this girl who was a year junior, and I did not know her name. Nor was I on speaking terms with her. But some of my friends and I thought she was cute. Hence she got the nickname – ‘cute girl’. Quite fairly obvious, and intuitive and easy to remember. Right?

A few days later, she was joined on a regular basis by this other friend of hers, who my friends and I thought was cuter than her. Initially, I chanced upon naming her ‘girl with cute girl’, but given that it sounded quite stupid, I changed that to ‘girl cuter than cute girl’ and so it stuck.

Now, those nicknames, I am not proud of. Not one bit. However, those are merely illustrative examples to indicate how despite having come up with names like ‘Lech Paaji’, ‘Doob Doob’ and ‘Lubdubi’, I haven’t been consistent all through.

Now ‘Lech Paaji’ was, as you can probably guess, a Surd who used to lech at women. His leching was, in fact, so intense that he embarassed most of the guys in his vicinity, and his supreme abilities to have his piercing stares zero in on certain aspects of the female anatomy didn’t leave absolutely anyone in doubt regarding what was on his mind.

‘Doob Doob’ and ‘Lubdubi’ were nicknames given to people who seemed ostensibly dumb, much as their counterparts in ‘Tinkle’ magazine, and were named so to continue the trend of naming people after characters from the ‘Tinkle’ universe.

However, some friends of mine at the office have hit upon a novel way of nicknaming cute women women they think are cute here at work. It has been based on the colour of their attire on the first day that they spotted one of said women.

Hence, nicknames such as ‘purple haze’, ‘black dahlia’, ‘simply red’ and ‘brown sugar’ keep being thrown about with gay abandon whenever I end up spending more than ten minutes with them, although that doesn’t happen often.

I must say I admire these guys deeply for their attempts to keep using these nicknames despite the fact that it is quite evident that these aforementioned women would keep wearing different coloured clothes on different occasions.

This has led to some pretty interesting conversational snippets that I have over-heard. “The one in pink is purple haze, dude! The one in black is the green lantern!” “No you moron, the one in blue is the pink panther, while the one in red is the black dahlia.”

Right. Go figure.

I’ve decided to name that channel…….wait for it…….pH1!!