Rocking in the Free World » Peter Pan in Real Life

My Idea of a Perfect Marriage Proposal

Hari — Fri, 20 May 2011 09:53:07 +0000

You read the title right, I will admit.

This is probably the first time I am using the M-word in a self-referential context. My idea of a perfect marriage proposal involves only two things – engaging in the act of genuflection and giving the girl who makes me feel like the luckiest man on the planet a soft toy to signal that I would like for both of us to be together till death / natural disasters / compatibility issues / career aspirations / geographical separation / other people / ennui do us apart.

On a serious note, I would like only death / natural disasters to be responsible, but you can’t always get what you want. That is how the unwelcome phrase, ‘ex’ somebody creeps into your vocabulary.

Anyway, I want to know where to find this soft toy and keep it with me for when the time is right.

I am still thinking of which sane, pop-culture loving, level-headed woman would say ‘no’ to a Pikachu-Cthulu doll. Seems foolproof, yes? I can’t think of a better way to say “I love you”.

Original link here.

Link courtesy Kowiks

WishMobile!

Hari — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 19:29:22 +0000

So I want a mobile device that can do multiple things at once. I was lazing on my bed, reading a book right now and I had to get up to walk to my table a metre and a half away to pick up the remote for my air conditioner to increase the temperature since it was getting quite chilly.

If my mobile could also double up as an air conditioner remote, I wouldn’t have to sit at my laptop to write this down. Come to think of it, I wish my mobile would also double up as a TV remote, a DVD player remote, a car radio remote and also serve as the remote controller for multiple devices.

I remember a time when I wasn’t able to watch TV for a while at my house in Bangalore because the remote control wasn’t working properly. I later realized that it was due to a loose connection in the batteries, but until then, all the repeated beatings that poor remote took could’ve been saved had the WishMobile been invented.

I am too lazy and technically incompetent to work on coming up with this device. Plus I have a huge educational loan that hangs on my head like Damocles’ sword. But if someone chances upon this idea to come up with an integrated device that can serve multiple purposes as described above, you have my eternal admiration and respect.

However, considering I am strongly gravitating towards the minimalist lifestyle thanks to my being congenitally parsimonious, I don’t even know if I will have enough remotes around me in the first place to warrant getting a WishMobile!

Search Engine Queries – 4th September 2009

Hari — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 17:53:56 +0000

On popular demand by one person, a certain Nishit Desai, this series is back with a bang. I’ve not had much of a chance to track all the studmax searches that have led people to my humble (not!) website, but here’s a sample of the more amusing and somewhat disgusting searches that people have keyed in to get here.

I wish Peter Pan were real
Women in Vijay Mallya’s life
Ken Lee tulibu dubu douchoo
Only a Dead Zionist is a good ugly!
Guffaw College
Sri Sri Ravishankar speaks Kannada?
Deshdrohi Dialogues
ISB Moron (it is only appropriate that this search lead to me)

I promise henceforth to keep better track of search engine terms to at least partially resurrect this set of stupid posts.

Search Engine Queries – May 1st to May 13th 2009

Hari — Wed, 13 May 2009 00:52:20 +0000

Its been a while since I’ve managed to come up with this nonsensical list of search engine queries that have led visitors to my site. No excuses, I’ve been plain lazy.

Nonetheless, I’ve come to realize that if I use tags to indicate said asinine queries, the odds of more people coming to this site thanks to searching for those stupid strings increases tremendously.

Here is a list of the latest stupid search engine queries, in no specific order of hilarity or absurdity:

Sri Sri Ravishankar drinking beer (blasphemy in some circles)
Madhuri Dixit armpit pics (wtf!)
Life is an ipod (iLike very much!)
dorky guys with tattoos
sentences with “I can’t able to”
Kodhi is a cheap guy
I want a nice and decent nickname
class assembly on modesty
quite a poseur
stupid language loldogs
robert van winkle haircut
basic instinct jug suraiya
don’t join IIM X (not naming names, sorry)

Yup, thats it. More nonsense to follow.

In other news, wordpress has improved and enhanced its UI to make life a bit easier. Such joy.

Pure Evil Me

Hari — Wed, 06 May 2009 15:59:02 +0000

Identity protected for I don’t want to be sued. But such joy. I like the guy I dissed, though.

Search Engine Queries – 5th Feb to 9th March 2009

Hari — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 10:41:23 +0000

Yes, it is that time again when I’ve got nothing to post on my website, for some strange reasons. I have all the time in the world, after having quit my job, but the writing machinery refuses to function, causing profound sighs of relief among all those who’ve inadvertently stumbled upon new nonsense on my website.

After being unemployed, I am strongly contemplating getting visiting cards done, which say, “Owner, harishenoy.com” and using them as and when the occasion demands it. More often than not, it will be for a joke or a prank.

In any case, after the initial introduction, here’s a compiled list of incredible search results that led a few hapless souls onto my site.

manmohan singh forgets srk’s movie name
miss inox clothes
what is the pain on my gluteus?
valentines day protests by ram nene
i finished all the juice
song on modesty for class assembly
vijay mallya’s women
fatwa on leverage
pramod mutalik gay
madhuri dixit photo no were clothes.com
photos of teens showing their armpits
my favourite ghajini

And there will be more to follow. I think I’ll make it a monthly segment from now on. There are a few posts pending here and there, and they will be up soon after I’m done doing the cover story for Rock Street Journal’s March issue. Do watch out for that. The reason that gets priority is because while the website gets me hate mail which I love reading, the magazine gives me the monies, which I love counting. Just that the counting process gets over quite early, but I’m not complaining.

And while we’re at it, check out the all new look Rock Street Journal 15th anniversary issue out in stands now. Reuben Bhattacharya, our creative head has done a stunning job to put the magazine together. The layout is to die for!

More nonsense in the days to come. Until then, in Prem Panicker style, *woof*.

Thika United F.C.

Hari — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 07:01:51 +0000

Now this is a football club who’s t-shirt I would love to wear and walk down MG Road.

For those that don’t know, ‘thika’ refers to buttocks in Kannada and was a word I learnt and used copiously during my time in school, from class 5 onwards. Having graduated to using bowel language in English, the usage of Kannada curse words has come down drastically. Nevertheless, a few friends with whom I get to speak to in Kannada ensure that I don’t lose touch with this integral part of my childhood, that has landed me in trouble on many an occasion with the grown-ups.

The very idea of having a name like Thika United is scary for it reminds me of constipation, a condition I would wish upon only on my worst enemies.

Also, the wiki link to Thika United F.C.

Search Engine Queries 20th Jan 09 – 4th Feb 09

Hari — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 10:45:51 +0000

The recurring theme of this particular set of posts, as I have previously specified, is due to the inherent arbit craziness of the denizens of the world wide web, who seem to take pride in typing out the weirdest of search strings that lead to my website. Here is a list of the top searches this fortnight.

Dawood Ibrahim personal website
jaljira airways
long skinny dorky men
muscle Bon Jovi
we’re all millionaires
Skimpy Hepburn photo
Oscar Wilde has the right to blame us
ek do teen dubbed in Kannada
pig chewing Orbit gum

More to follow in the days to come.

Long long long live Barack Obama

Hari — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 09:48:05 +0000

Udupendra put tweet about this lovely joyful video of a Tamizh son-of-the-soil extolling the virtues of Barack Obama in a musical way.

With rhymes constructed that combine words like ‘optimism’ and ‘socialism’, and with music that was best left to a 70s Tamizh movie, this video is as hilarious as it can get.

And believe it or not, that is not the funny part. The funny part is where the guy manages to fit ‘socialist democratic President in the image of the great Abraham Lincoln’ in a space where the music and the rhyme demands that two syllables be placed. I bow to this guy’s absolute force-fitting fundas.

Last seen, it only had about 800-odd views on youtube, as Udupa mentioned, and it is indeed quite shameful. Time to remedy it. I’ve seen it twice already.

You Can Do (One Way Mirror) Magic

Hari — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 08:24:18 +0000

To get some context, check out part 1 of this series.

Done? Happy, are we? Awsum!

What you see in this video is four really talented individuals displaying their apparent lack of dancing skills in front of the IIT M Student Activity Center (SAC) building at 2 AM in the night, the day Opeth was scheduled to perform there.

The SAC, we found out, has one way mirrors placed on it such that (subject to proper lighting conditions) people outside can see the inside of the building, while the opposite does not hold true.

As a result, us dancers were able to see those people who are dancing inside, but they couldn’t see us. We put two and two together, came up with three hundred and did what you see in the video.

This was immediately following the part 1 dance, and it provided us such joy, we’re still laughing about it like crazy.

Now that you’ve seen my dance troupe’s skills, please do drop a comment if you think we have a chance at dancing somewhere that you’d require energetic, enthusiastic and happy dancers who will dance so bad, we’ll make your grammaw look like Prabhudeva.

PS: Notice how the fart noise was timed sweetly to perfection?