Rocking in the Free World

I was meaning to write about settling in for a while, but for some strange reason, my website exceeded the allocated bandwidth limit despite getting very few hits on average per day. COnsequently, around 22nd April, when I was itching to blog, all I could do was to sit and stare helplessly at the 509:bandwidth exceeded error, much like eunuchs at an orgy.

Anyway, the notes about nothing series continues to document my wonderfully mundane life up north.

Mobile Connection Woes: It is horribly tough to get a mobile phone connection here, unless one has proof of residence. As I had said on my previous facebook status, its thanks to these stupid stinky ass terrorist bitches that one has to undergo extensive address proof related problems and when the Airtel guy finally showed up at my place on saturday to verify my residential address, I was so overjoyed that I did not curse him for having interrupted me when I had just stepped out of the shower and was toweling myself dry.

Of Electronic Goods and EMIs: The other catch-22 level situation that I find myself in is with respect to furnishing the necessary local proof of residence in order to get the EMI schemes to purchase electronic goods (read superawesome flat screen TV and a 1.5 ton air conditioner). While the telephone connection operator idiots finally showed up and told me that I was who I claimed to be, these guys need additional proof and the fact that I am willing to make a down payment of 50% of the amount and furnish a letter from my firm’s HR department wasn’t enough to satisfy their stringent requirements necessary to make a sale.

I am sure a stupid MBA grad thought of this process in order to ‘streamline orders’ and ensure a strong reduction in write-offs that companies would otherwise have to resort to in case of errant customers. The fact that I would chase them down to make the monthly payment, thanks to my being the owner of a conscience that works overtime is unfortunately not something those retards are privy to.

This situation was what I experienced when I went to some electronics store. When I went to Big Bazaar to pick up a TV, the salesperson categorically informed me that unless I have stayed in the NCR for a year, I was not eligible to purchase items on an EMI scheme. I wanted to ask him if it was a rule that people can’t watch TV as initiation into living in Gurgaon, but he looked like a chap whose response to sarcasm would be physical because his that part of his brain allocated for coming up with witty responses died even before he was born.

Bacchus Worship Overdrive: On the other hand, the Haryanvi equivalent of a ‘wine store’ in Karnataka is referred to as a ‘Theka‘. A good friend of mine told me that you could die of not receiving medical attention due to drug stores being closed during certain times of the day, but that you would never ever ever ever ever be able to die of alcohol deprivation in Gurgaon. Alcohol is slightly more expensive here than in the booze stores in New Delhi, but is available round the clock sans any problems from the cops.

Friends and Acquaintances: While I am living alone and have no problems with extended periods of out-of-office solitude (read months), I’ve had a decent time here in terms of how many friends and acquaintances of mine are living in this part of the country. As more people from the ISB class of 2010 restart their professional lives to join the earlybirds like yours truly, the office complex where I work in could as well have its own ISB alumni chapter.

Power Situation: There have been times when I lived in Mysore and Bangalore when I would complain about how KPTCL (formerly KEB) was such an inefficient organization because of daily load-shedding for a couple of hours and would lament the absence of electricity in our living spaces. I am sorry for having done that. KPTCL, I love you. Please forgive me for all the times that I called your assistant executive engineer as a teenager, pestering him about how many minutes it would be before I could get to watch the rest of the cricket match.

The electricity situation in Gurgaon makes me realize what luxury I used to live in.

Having said all this, while I do maintain that most of my post has comprised of major cribbage, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t having some fun times in the heart of Hindi heartland! More to follow in the days ahead.