Now, in the true spirit of content on this site, you must be WTFing and wondering what the Plimsoll line has to do with anything that I am about to write.
The new concept, which I am sure will eventually be part of mainstream pop culture is called the Relationship Plimsoll Line. The Relation Plimsoll Line, henceforth known as the RPL is not a line in the strictest sense, unlike the actual waterline.
It refers to the absolute weight that your partner can gain before you can dump him / her. Basically, one would assume that in a relationship, you’d dispense with superficiality and focus on the inner beauty of the person you’re with and all that crap.
However, practical sensibilities dictate that you wouldn’t want to be seen with someone who looks like Jabba the Hut. Hence, the RPL would hold good, no matter what a person would say on the outside.
The RPL threshold you’d have would also depend on how ugly / good looking you are. If you have a face only your mother would love, please ensure that you have a decently high value for your RPL, failing which you’ll end up miserable and alone.
If you’re decent looking, then by all means, go ahead and lower your RPL. But make sure that you know that age will catch up with you one day and you might end up at the receiving end of a break-up following your having exceeded your RPL yourself. Karma catches up in the end.
The only instance where the RPL wouldn’t apply is at an instance my friend, Akshay Pai termed as the ‘Pregnancy Exit Clause‘ applicable only to women as a loophole to the RPL. Since the guy is responsible for his significant other having put on weight, it is only fair that he doesn’t use the RPL excuse to break up.
Men, however have no such luck and any increase in weight beyond the RPL will result in merciless dumpage. “But honey, I love beer and I can’t do anything about it!” doesn’t really cut it, unfortunately.
So, all in all, at the end of the day if you’re done reading this post and you feel that what I wrote is utter bullcrap and you’ll stick with your better half even if he / she looks like the Goodyear Blimp, sorry, but you’re kidding yourself. Remember, it is about being sensible and practical, rather than about being superficial.
