I write, therefore I am.
Thursday February 9th 2012

Categories

Twitter

  • I see Stan the Rapper ads on youtube before I view videos. Is this an awesome troll exercise in play? Anyone else seen Stan the Rapper? 11 hrs ago
  • toasted bread + nutella + mashed banana stuffing - microwave for 30 seconds. Such joy. Adding honey for the next samwich. 1 day ago
  • back on twitter after ages and wanting to rekindle the Konkani movie discussions with @deepakshenoy and @shenoyn - gentlemen? 1 week ago
  • Craig Thompson's 'Habibi' delivered this morning by @Flipkart ! Yoo hoo! Goodbye weekend social life! :-) 1 week ago
  • Its a wonderful world out there - http://t.co/7VSH89yb 2012-01-04
  • Anyone on my timeline been to Tajikistan? 2011-12-19
  • Oh google. You are awesome. "internet meme of guy mumbling song" led me to the Chacarron Macarron wiki page. 2011-12-16
  • Whatay! Prof. Bhagwan Choudhary puts cameo on S08E06 of Entourage! Such a star the chap is! 2011-12-16
  • Just purchased a pair of nice formal shoes from @zovi - their rates are unbelievable! 2011-12-14
  • Any recommendations on a car that can be hired for one full day in Bangalore? 2011-12-13
  • More updates...

Powered by Twitter Tools

Introducing the Shri Ravana Sene

The Shri Ravan Sene is a new organization that was formed a few days ago, in response to the formation and rise to infamy of the Shri Rama Sene.

( The Shri Rama Sene had previously changed it’s name to Shriram Nene, but have since reverted to their original name after nobody else except Pramod Mutalik and a certain idiot named Hari Shenoy found it funny. More so, they were not able to pinpoint Madhuri Dixit-Nene’s whereabouts.

The idiotic Hari Shenoy did suggest that they use the name, ‘the organization formerly known as Shriram Nene’, but the groups’s lawyers objected strongly, saying that they didn’t want Prince / TAFKAP / The artist formerly known as Prince suing the group.

Pramod Mutalik, a fervent hater of Pax Karnataka (inspired by Pax Romana) is also said to be fond of the song ‘When Doves Cry’, which he says gives him inspiration to wreak havoc among peace-loving citizens of Karnataka. )

The Shri Ravan Sene, when asked about it’s unusual name said that if towns like Mysore and Jalandhar could be named after demons, they saw no harm in naming their organization after a demon as well.

“Ten heads are better than two heads, which in turn are better than one!”, said their chairman, during the introductory speech to the media. He had shown up for the introductory press conference with nine other plastic heads attached to his own head, and had each of them masked, with ten mics placed in front of him.

“I am masked to prevent you guys from identifying me if I were to ever appear in public”, said their chairman, not realizing that the sight of a ten-headed man was as common as that of Karan Johar being flanked by skimpily clad women at the red carpet of a film premiere.

The media, stupid as it is, being unable to tell the difference between a hijacking and an emergency landing, was under the impression that this guy actually had ten heads, and as usual lost the entire point of the press conference.

They were last seen putting out ‘breaking news’ that read – ‘Indian Medical Association reveals Ten Headed Man!’, and ‘Ravana seeks asylum in light of ongoing crisis in Sri Lanka!’ and some such nonsense, having redefined the whole concept of the Chinese whisper beyond epic proportions.

Barkha Dutt was……. Do you think I’m a fool to mention her on my blog and get sued as well? Gah!

When asked what their mission was, their ten-headed chairman said, “We’re here to do the exact opposite of what the Shri Ram Sene is doing. We plan to kidnap all the girls that sit at home, and push them into pubs, which are losing crores of rupees because the women that previously went into pubs are now sitting at home.”

On being told about the agenda of the Shri Ravana Sene, a certain liquor baron had tears of joy in his eyes was seen adding a photo of Ravana next to the photo of Kevin Pieterson in his prayer room. (As an aside, in place of Rahul Dravid’s photo, there stood a mere wall.)

The ten-headed anonymous chairman then unfurled the flag of the Shri Ravana Sene for all the media to see. The flag was white in colour and on it was the head of our beloved Minister of State for Women and Child Development, with a thought bubble that said ‘Pub Bharo!’.

“We’re going to change our flag as and when the occasion demands it, and also change the slogan that our principal mascot says on similar lines. This is to ensure that we’re keeping in line with the requirements of modularity and abstraction that web 2.0 standards dictate”, he said, sending the policemen in a tizzy.

Now the cops’ job of tracking the President was made that much tougher because almost every male in Bangalore between the ages of 20 and 50 was now a suspect.

“We had originally decided to join hands with the National Panthers Party, as Aadisht had specified in this post. But, unlike them, we have no political aspirations. We are, however, strongly in favour of tying up with the Kansa Society in the future, should they be willing to lend us a helping hand.”

“On Valentine’s Day, we plan to enlist the help of men who don’t have better things to do, or better people to do, or both, to try and combat the threat of the Shri Rama Sene. See you then!”

“Also, read Hari Shenoy’s blog if you can!”, he added hurriedly just before he left, showing that he had good taste in blogs, just like you do, O dear reader!

The Shri Ravana Sene plans to induct anyone willing to join its noble cause in due course of time. Laid-off tech firm employees will be given first preference. Watch this space for further updates.

In the meanwhile, do check out The Pink Chaddi campaign. Heartening indeed, to know that people are donating clothes even when our economic crisis is hitting us hard. Poor Pramod Mutalik, I’d say.

Reader Feedback

7 Responses to “Introducing the Shri Ravana Sene”

  1. Aadisht says:

    Do not forget that Ravana was a pious Siva-bhakt, and therefore the Sri Ravana Sene fits in perfectly with neo-Edwardian values.

  2. Anon says:

    Ravana sene does exist! some cheap rate Tams who say they were the origin of species err original inhabitants of India do indeed have ravana leela instead of the ram leela!!!!

  3. thequark says:

    “This is to ensure that we’re keeping in line with the requirements of modularity and abstraction that web 2.0 standards dictate”

    Would they keep up with web two dot O trends too? Like tweets for attacks i.e. events of clinical violence. (The term was thrown in an NDTV debate by personnel from Shree Ram Sene).

  4. Hari says:

    @Aadisht,
    and as a consquence, men with Saivite neo-Edwardian values like yourself would well and truly identify with this cause!

  5. Hari says:

    @Anon,
    yes, I can able to have prior knowledge about that.

  6. Hari says:

    @thequark,
    The SRS guys know about twitter? My life is in danger then!

  7. Lebarace says:

    You make no sense. Oh well.

Leave a Reply