I write, therefore I am.
Friday September 3rd 2010

Twitter

  • and Hari is back in Gorgon. Uber Death. 3 days ago
  • One night in CHOMland on Tuesday. Wednesday, onward to Dharamsala. Hope the rain Gods are kind enough to not cause problems en route. 4 days ago
  • Flight to Delhi leaves at 0600 on tuesday morning. Airport vigil planned to kill time from 0200 onwards. 4 days ago
  • Confession: "Fool's game" by Richard Marx running in loop in my head. 5 days ago
  • I now know for sure what salubrious means. Mysore weather = salubrious.I'd sacrifice 500 gorgonites for a month here. Gorgonite volunteers? 5 days ago
  • SoHF.Public transport, you are beautiful.And no, contrary to signboard notices,Yelahanka is not the new Gorgon. Its better off this way. 1 week ago
  • More updates...

Powered by Twitter Tools

Millionaires of India, Unite !!!

We the undersigned millionaires*, wish to file a defamation case against music director A.R.Rahman, Anil Kapoor, Danny Boyle, Dev Patel, that cute girl who stars opposite him and the assistant director to Danny Boyle who is good-looking but whose name I can’t remember right now.

Heck, we’ll even throw in Vikas Swarup for having written the book that inspired the movie in the first place, and the Golden Globes and the AMPAS for giving this movie so much publicity as co-defendants.

To file this defamation suit, we are collecting signatures for an online petition which you can sign by leaving a comment on this post.

We object strongly, just like our fellow countryman Tapeshwar Vishwakarma (who has also filed suit against the aforementioned characters, both fictional and real), to being equated to dogs from the slums. We have worked hard for our millions, and it seems unfair to be socially bracketed along with non-millionaires.

Of course, Mr.Vishwakarma’s argument stems from the other end of the spectrum, and he’s angry about how the movie title allegedly violates the human rights and the honour of slum-dwellers.

We millionaires would also like to get publicity for kicks, and think it would be a good idea to get more of our kind to sign this particular petition so that us rich people don’t remain an oppressed lot.

We need to show the world that we can get mileage out of a successful movie should we feel like it.

So come one, and come all. Let us join hands in ensuring that we millionaires aren’t treated shabbily simply because we’ve worked hard to get where we are.

* – (Zimbabwean) $ 1,000,000 = INR 2.3.
Some slum dwellers, as a consequence, would be millionaires too, and if Tapeshwar Vishwakarma is ok, they can join our crusade as well.

PS: Also read this previous post of mine for some additional, somewhat related gyaan.

Reader Feedback

26 Responses to “Millionaires of India, Unite !!!”

  1. Just Mohit says:

    ME first :)
    As for the slumdwellers’ signatures, why do they need Tappu’s clearance?
    And why not a petition on behalf of the dogs, who might not want to be clubbed with the millionaires or the slumdwellers (since these are usually humans)

  2. Hari says:

    @Just Mohit,
    Oh, I’m generally sucking up to Tappu.

    Do you have Maneka Gandhi’s email address? She’d be max enthu to take up this cause.

  3. Just Mohit says:

    @Hari, Will get her address. You can always send it to Arundhati for a far shriller, polemic-driven response.

  4. Hari says:

    @Just Mohit,
    But Arundhati Roy will unleash more arbitness by equating the slum dwellers and the millionaires to fundamentalists.

    But it would be lovely if someone did come up with a spoof article in the obfuscating language she employs in response to this petition of mine.

  5. Shrinath says:

    Waste of time. I DO NOT support this. I have better things to do. Like spending some of my free time teaching under privileged children.
    Bye!

  6. skimpy says:

    here is my two rupees thirty paisa

    PS: I found a 5 paisa coin while cleaning something at home yesterday

  7. skimpy says:

    @Shrinath,

    teaching slumdogs, you mean?

  8. salil says:

    This is a grave injustice to us millionaires. We insist that the film is banned unless the director renames the film SLUM-KINNG MILLIONAIRE. The double N is very important. Thank you.

  9. Vivek says:

    Millionaires, bah!
    How dare you?! We’re all ‘karodpatis’… :) :)

    Btw, do you rem Anil kapoor’s ‘Millionaairreee..’

  10. Hari says:

    @Shrinath,
    You rock. You are awesome.

    You also evidently lack a funny bone.

  11. Hari says:

    @Vivek,
    Dude, this is to showcase to the world that we’re ok with following their systems while also retaining our own ways of counting money.

  12. Hari says:

    @skimpy,
    If you find more, kindly put – I am getting lots of people shelling out INR 3 and this will be the appropriate “change we need”.

    In fact, when I get the money, I can say truly that “change has come” to the millionaires of India.

  13. Hari says:

    @salil,

    Or remove all traces of slums, dogs and millionaires from the title. Give it a total arbit neutral title.

  14. skimpy says:

    @Hari,
    like swastik? (you remember that upendra movie starring Raghavendra Rajkumar?)

  15. Hari says:

    @Atulya,
    parce que?

  16. gaurav says:

    hello. i just completely agree with you. slumdog is shit.Do we need a movie to know whats happening in our country ?stop defaming the nation.Is india just about the slums , selling kids , or the taj.And who gave anyone the right to call it a developing country.And the murkiest things happen in the most developed countries..Stop accepting crap as art.
    We are a youth force.Can you contact us.
    YFI.urban revolution.

  17. Devrat says:

    if this film had been made by some dark skinned aforementioned millionaire, it would have been thrashed by the critics, released in some single screen theatres, and vanished without a trace.
    The only thing i found worthwhile in the movie was saurabh shukla’s first dialogue :D

  18. Hari says:

    @gaurav,
    I respect your opinion, but my post is making fun at opportunistic people, and doesn’t really take a stance beyond commending people who have INR 2.3 in their pockets.
    I don’t care what other people think of us as, or percieve us as. We are as good or as bad as we think we are.

    ’nuff said.

  19. Hari says:

    @Devrat,
    doesn’t matter who it was made by. First half was good fun to watch. Second half was bordering on the ‘meh’. I liked Vikas Swarup’s Q&A much better though.

    Eminently enjoyable.

  20. Chevalier says:

    Meh, I protest your petition as it is incomplete and can lead to grave misinformation. These are just some of the problems with it:
    #1: “We have worked hard for our millions, and it seems unfair to be socially bracketed along with non-millionaires”:
    It is indeed insulting for some of us to be classified with anyone who has worked hard for anything. I demand another petition be filed for the millionaires who do not, have never and will never worked, hard or otherwise. To paraphrase several Jane Austen characters: “to be in *TRADE*??? Ew.”
    #2: “think it would be a good idea to get more of our kind to sign this particular petition so that us rich people”:
    Umm…we rich people and millionaires ‘autograph’ things, not necessarily ’sign’ anything. Seriously. And also, we have people who do all our paperwork for us, including and not limited to getting us driving licenses, passports, etc., so we don’t sign anything ever.
    #3: “We need to show the world that we can get mileage out of a successful movie should we feel like it.”:
    Why the narrow lens? We can also get mileage out of unsuccessful movies – why have they been discriminated against? Therefore I suggest that we file petitions for Roop ki Rani Choroon Ka Raja, and every movie that has depicted millionaires, Hindi, English, or in any other language, in any country. This needs to be a class-action petition.
    #4: “Let us join hands in ensuring that we millionaires aren’t treated shabbily”:
    Umm….no thanks. Who knows when you’ve last washed your hands.
    #5: “simply because we’ve worked hard to get where we are”
    Again. See #1 above.

    And once you’ve updated this, please send the link to my people so they can take a look at it and autograph on my behalf.

  21. Hari says:

    @Chevalier,
    Respect.

    Real smooth considering you took like 4 days to come up with something so ‘funny’ that I’m overawed by the extreme original sarcastic wit you’ve displayed.

    *applause*.

  22. Chevalier says:

    Oh c’mon. I’d just seen this. God promise, and by god ki kasam.

  23. Your amma says:

    You are such a fucking misogynist flaccid cock. Frida Pinto and Luvleen Tandon are the names you cannot seem to remember. How is it that you have infinite mental capacity for producing vomit inducing puns like rock you like a ‘hari’cane, but cannot remember any of the women involved in this movie? And seriously, dude? Rock You Like a Haricane? What were you thinking? Did you expel good taste also when you were beating off with your fundoo friends? Go suck some supermax tunne you cockchoosoing colostomy bag.

  24. Hari says:

    @Chevalier,
    I’ll take your word for it if you blogroll me. :)

Leave a Reply