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Friday May 18th 2012

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Counter-Intuitive Nicknames

Ever since I was able to, I have given people around me nicknames. Most of them have been funny and non-offensive, and have had a decent shelf-life. The only one, which I thought was quite funny, which almost had me killed was ‘bird flu’.

At the height of the virus scare, the person who was given said nickname didn’t share my enthusiasm or my sense of humour, regretfully.

The saga of giving random nicknames began in college and has continued ever since even at the office. However, there definitely have been instances where I’ve brain-farted with my nomenclature, as can be illustrated with this example.

In college, there was this girl who was a year junior, and I did not know her name. Nor was I on speaking terms with her. But some of my friends and I thought she was cute. Hence she got the nickname – ‘cute girl’. Quite fairly obvious, and intuitive and easy to remember. Right?

A few days later, she was joined on a regular basis by this other friend of hers, who my friends and I thought was cuter than her. Initially, I chanced upon naming her ‘girl with cute girl’, but given that it sounded quite stupid, I changed that to ‘girl cuter than cute girl’ and so it stuck.

Now, those nicknames, I am not proud of. Not one bit. However, those are merely illustrative examples to indicate how despite having come up with names like ‘Lech Paaji’, ‘Doob Doob’ and ‘Lubdubi’, I haven’t been consistent all through.

Now ‘Lech Paaji’ was, as you can probably guess, a Surd who used to lech at women. His leching was, in fact, so intense that he embarassed most of the guys in his vicinity, and his supreme abilities to have his piercing stares zero in on certain aspects of the female anatomy didn’t leave absolutely anyone in doubt regarding what was on his mind.

‘Doob Doob’ and ‘Lubdubi’ were nicknames given to people who seemed ostensibly dumb, much as their counterparts in ‘Tinkle’ magazine, and were named so to continue the trend of naming people after characters from the ‘Tinkle’ universe.

However, some friends of mine at the office have hit upon a novel way of nicknaming cute women women they think are cute here at work. It has been based on the colour of their attire on the first day that they spotted one of said women.

Hence, nicknames such as ‘purple haze’, ‘black dahlia’, ‘simply red’ and ‘brown sugar’ keep being thrown about with gay abandon whenever I end up spending more than ten minutes with them, although that doesn’t happen often.

I must say I admire these guys deeply for their attempts to keep using these nicknames despite the fact that it is quite evident that these aforementioned women would keep wearing different coloured clothes on different occasions.

This has led to some pretty interesting conversational snippets that I have over-heard. “The one in pink is purple haze, dude! The one in black is the green lantern!” “No you moron, the one in blue is the pink panther, while the one in red is the black dahlia.

Right. Go figure.

Reader Feedback

8 Responses to “Counter-Intuitive Nicknames”

  1. antsBoy says:

    It was Peacock Green, you eediott! Copyright license whatever also, I need royalty.

  2. Hari says:

    @antsBoy,
    Die. Whose blog is it anyway?

  3. Lively says:

    What dya guys think? We don’t know that you absolutely have to name each and every female you see? We just IGNORE you! Haha
    BTW this trend is present even in the female fraternity. Of naming guys. But we choose only few! ;)

  4. Hari says:

    @Lively,
    I wouldn’t know. I don’t have the need to nickname every female I see. The nicknames I come up with are based more on how good the nicknames can be, rather than who they are ascribed to. So there.

    My lunch group at the office is mixed, so we’re all quite aware of the propensity of either gender to come up with nicknames.

  5. Ameya says:

    you forgot about the best nickname given to a certain person from your college…”The incredible bulk”… sad you did not put that here!!!

  6. Hari says:

    @Ameya,
    Neither did I mention what I called Shreyas, or DC or thousands of other people. I want to write a ‘greatest hits’ post on nicknames sometime in the future. I’m saving up for that.

  7. Devrat says:

    i’ve been at the wrong end of some of these irritating nicknames and trust me, you don’t want to be named after some idiotic animal

  8. Hari says:

    @Devrat,
    Interesting, which animal were you named after?

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