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Friday May 18th 2012

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Rarest Opportunity!!!!

Once upon a time the written word was founded by man. He scratched on the walls of caves where he used to reside in, and when he ran out of space, took to scratching out details of anything even remotely relevant on the walls of the prehistoric urinals – an instinct that has lasted with man till date.

(Notice how I see man, to denote us males of the species and not women, since graffiti has probably never been their thing. Correct me if I’m wrong, though!!!)

John Gutenberg then invented the printing press, and printed Bibles, and the Holy Bible went on to be an all-time best-seller. Some people speculate that it was not so much because of how popular the book was, but because it had the distinction of being the first one to have been printed, and the extreme hype propelled its stellar sales. If only I could turn back time, maybe I’d have Vatsyayana’s Kamasutra printed out first, just to see if the rumour was true!!

The power of the written word has been used as an effective communication tool, and has led to the success of a lot of enterprises. The P&T departments of various nations, newspapers and media magazines, and of course, Abdul Karim Telgi, among many others all owe their good fortunes to the written word.

One fine day, Sabeer Bhatia and John Smith decided that they wanted to impress women (or maybe men, I know not and I don’t care either!) and hence thought of a novel concept – that of sending and receiving messages over a network, in a very nicely packaged manner. As a dedication to their repressed homosexual urges towards each other, they decided to name it ‘hotmail‘, very ominously sounding like, you know, ‘hotmale’.

Emails, as these messages were subsequently referred to as, have now caught on in a big way, and have changed and redefined the lives of people as we know it today. Instant communication, free, easy, fast and convenient. Getting porn from eightly different websites after signing up at only one has never been easier. One would think that viagra sales and average weiner sizes (atleast in places with reasonable internet access) would also have been boosted due to the incessant spam mails that one receives about libido increase and cheap cialis and viagra. This is apparently the next report that the studs at some major consulting firm are working on as a holiday project, after preparing reports based on detailed studies regarding the emergence of India and China as the dominating superpowers on the world stage in a few decades from now.

As with a whole lot of other innovations, the email evolutionary curve has now started going downhill, with incessant usage by people not qualified to get within ten metres of a keyboard. A brilliant forward that I received from a buddy of mine goes to illustrate just that.

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Hi,
People are interested in rare things, now this is common. People are interested in rare events, which is common too. What’s not common and rare is attending a session by *****. This is because Firstly chance to attend *****’s session is rare. That to session on ******* is still rare. Hence, I am sure your interest is double by now because of this rare event presented by a rare person in the unique presence of ******* like you. Yes!! You are invited to make this event a rare one. Make this event successful in such a way that very rarely we get know such success.

Three Cheers for Success

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Certain words have been blanked out to protect the identity of the people in question, so that you don’t go ahead and strangulate them.

Please come and visit this post as often as possible, and make this blog post successful in such a way that very rarely I will get to know such a hit rate.

Reader Feedback

7 Responses to “Rarest Opportunity!!!!”

  1. Aslan says:

    how about this:

    Sankar,
    it is ***** from trichy.Totally we, 3 guys(2 eee+1 ece -his name is *****)have joined ***** from *****,trichy. we joined only on sep-01.Now the training is going on the west campus.sorry for the delayed contact.i am working hard ,because i am new to java.i hope u r good in ur path.If i come to that campus, i will try to meet u.bye for now

    names starred out to.. yeah let them live.

  2. juan says:

    brilliant! like i’d predicted u did justice to the masterpiece.
    and that was very charitable of you and alsan to not reveal names. there is already enough violence in this world. *sigh* how sad the average IQ of the human race is on its way down. here it’s not a matter of knowing the language, it’s a matter of knowing how bad you are at a language! heck if i had to send out a mail in french, i sure would check and double check and triple check all possible sources to make sure i won’t sound like a fool and/or put off everyone who reads it.

  3. Shweta says:

    dont you mean eighty websites?now that i typed it – i know that’s a retarded question .your blog’s really cool but wanna see something better? If you’ve not done it already do check Maddox- (author of Alphabet of Manliness )’s blog thebestpageintheuniverse.com . Totally arbit, I say.

  4. Aslan says:

    @juan: its aslan, not alsan. you make me sound like some lazy guy. :(

  5. Hari says:

    @ Kutty – yeah, let them live. So long as they don’t get in touch with you again.

    @ Juan – thank you. I’m glad I took your advice about posting this.

    @ Shweta – thanks a ton! Check out the “blogs I read” section now :-)

  6. trogdor-fan says:

    Did you actually not know of Maddox before, Shenoy???? Shocked I am.

    And congratulations on increasing the number of people I want to strangulate. Or better yet, BURNINATE THEM ALL!!!

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