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Wednesday February 8th 2012

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Gawd TV!

The month of June 2006 has brought about a whole lot of changes in my life. Thankfully for you, this post is not about that.

A new place to stay, in a very nice locality, albeit with a pathetic approach road, is what has happened, to put it in a nutshell. One of the many wonderful things about this new place is that one of my flatmates, Kutty, has brought over his TV, thereby ending two years of painful agony that yours truly had to endure (sometimes by choice, sometimes by compulsion) for not being in the hallowed presence of what some really jealous people call the Idiot Box.

Anyway, now that my ‘condition’ has been remedied, so to speak, I have gotten back to what I do best, next only to spending my time at the office pretending to work, while actually typing out shit like this, in the fervent hope that some moron like you will read it and find it funny. If your ego is fragile, please don’t read the previous sentence, it might not do you any good.

Oops.

Anyway, just kidding about that. The very fact that you’re able to understand complex sentence construction to an extent where every single thing I says isn’t even mildly comprenhesible says a lot about how well your English teacher has taught you in school and also about your levels of perseverance at reading absolute horsedung online, not to mention your exemplary comprehension levels.

Back to my joyful reunion with the TV, albeit not mine. Same difference, though.

With work, commuting and long and mostly happy telephone conversations and somewhat intense playing at the Woodrose club, the lovely television is seldom awarded with my presence for more than an hour before somnolence gently creeps over me.

The other night when I was watching TV, VH1 specifically (they had a Greenday Storytellers’ special, which I’d highly recommend you watch if you can), and there was a commercial break in the interim during which I was able to randomly channel surf. I found out that there are no Shakeela movies being telecast on TV, the rumours are untrue.

In addition, I chanced upon this channel I have been seeing all too very often without ever bothering to acknowledge its presence on my television – God TV. This time they were showing an ad with a few guys standing in flowing robes standing in St.Peter’s square as some music, some techno stuff or some disco stuff was being played in the background.

In this part of the post onwards, I am going to abuse the TV channel, though I must state that I am venting my ire only on those people who came up with the channel, and not against faithful believers or God. Believe me when I tell you, I am afraid of God’s retribution, and hence I shall not bother to ruffle his/her feathers.

What sort of idiots would want to come up with a channel like God TV, eh? Imagine the content manager of the channel, or whatever he is called, having to scan through each and every single line of the Bible for inputs on what to do for new material. This is probably the only channel where they propagate the funda that its cool to have re-runs.

We have re-runs and we’re damn proud of it! We believe that repeated content will enhance the viewer’s faith and propagate our message further!

As a friend of mine pointed out, the very presence of God TV is for the cable operator to proudly claim that he is supplying us with more channels than we can possibly watch, nevermind the fact that its absolutely unviewable even by people who have gone without watching the lovely television for two whole years! The TV channel is a filler that people use before being able to go from one channel to another.

Another possible reason for its existence (one of the very few present) could be for pseudo-pious kids to be pretending they’re watching it at night, while all they are really doing is to wait for their folks to get out of the room so they can slip in the porn CD and watch it to their libido’s content. Instant gratification!! Well, almost.

For those that tend to disagree with my viewpoint, try watching Benny Hinn or some other TV evangelist talk, and you will know exactly what I am referring to. Religion is a very personal thing and every person should have the right to follow it as per his/her wishes. Coaxing people via a stupid television channel to try and stretch the definition of piety beyond tolerable means is blasphemy by itself.

Do I see you turning off your comp in disgust to go watch God TV?

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5 Responses to “Gawd TV!”

  1. tangled says:

    Not them, da. People I know.
    And I am tired of my error-dar.
    Anyone wanna take it off my hands?

  2. tangled says:

    Oh, what the hell

    a. “exepmlary” ?
    b. so they can slip in the porn CD and watch it to their (!!) libido’s content
    c. where is the tag????

  3. Hari, Hari, Arbitrary says:

    @TB – errors addressed.

    Tag – patience.

    ebpmoz

  4. Anonymous says:

    what about “koran tv”? i think it would be better if they renamed it “moron tv”

  5. Rana Kar says:

    hello.
    good post. i agree with the fact god tv sucks ass. just like any of the other religious channels which go around spewing bs.. and any one of these religious fanatics is capable of flying a plane into a building..

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